I feel like my faith is growing and being stretched thin but at the same time being rooted deeper in Jesus!!! Just a few years ago, when bad news would come my way, like friends and family getting sick or sudden deaths or hard trials, I would literally feel ALL my energy drain and leave me in a puddle of worry. I hate hardship. I didn't deal well at all with tragedies. Big or small. When I was pregnant with Ashlyn, I found myself worried when I started with some unusual discharge. I prayed for God to help me trust Him. To stop worrying. I had Mike pray over me time and time again. I knew it was time to make a radical change and to start putting all the scripture that I've read for years into practice. Did I really believe all those verses that said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."??? Or "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on my own understanding." Or where it says in Matthew to "seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow; for the morrow shall take thought of the things of itself." And to "pray about everything" and "casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." I've read and highlighted and underlined so many verses like these in my Bible but I felt like when I really needed to put them to practice on the battle field and fight against worry, I was a wimp. How do I really live out my faith? I've learned that faith is an action. It isn't until I believe in my heart that whatever the circumstance or the outcome, God is good. He is still in control. He is still trustworthy. This was not an easy task for me to learn!!!! Even with me typing these words, I know that I still have a battle to fight against evil. I prayed so much for God's peace! I'm not perfect in this area by no means and still find myself growing and being tested in the topic of trusting God, but I think it's a life time journey. I am happy to say though that I am growing!!!
It wasn't till the other day when my mom asked me how I'm dealing with this whole cancer thing with Mike's dad??? She knew how hard news and difficult life situations got me down. And I had to stop and think. I feel like I'm at a deeper level with my faith!!! To give my cares and worries to God is something I do daily but I do feel God's peace!!! He is with me and helping me trust Him more and more!!! It doesn't take away those hard things in life. No. I even feel like the hardships in life right now are bigger than they were years back. But God cares!!! I have learned the hard way, and I'm still learning, to worry about things that I can not change helps NOTHING. All it does it makes me stressed out and loose energy and fear for the future. Instead, I continue to put my trust in God and put my faith in action!!!
Our prayer list of sicknesses and diseases and troubles and broken marriages and relationships is just getting longer and longer. It still makes me so sad to hear how others have to face battles of cancer and really tough things! We just added another Christian Warrior to the throne room of grace this weekend!!! Vic and Sherry Zook are good friends of ours. We've know them ever since Hadassah and Courtney have become best of friends in Kindergarten!!! They also attend Honey Brook Community Church. Vic was taken to the hospital on Friday because he was having so much pain in his stomach. After some tests and scans, he was taken into surgery on Saturday and was diagnosed with cancer. This is another huge blow and our church has been through a lot the past few years. We are still crying out to God to heal Damien. He is in Germany right now getting cancer treatment and fighting a hard battle!!! We did the same thing for Carol just a year ago!!! We pray daily and sometimes hourly for Dad Lapp!!! He is still in Arizona and will be there for some time. Things are going so slow with getting Dad back to good health. Last week they did do a low dose radiation on his tumor to see if that will help with getting his digestive system working. He's still only drinking water and eating only ice chips!!! It's been weeks now since he ate something and kept it down. He is still on IVs and nutrition to help keep him nurtured and hydrated!!!
My faith is being tried and sometimes feels thin. I'm so glad that Jesus said, "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20
I know that God really does hear my prayers and cares for me!!! So, I will continue to put my trust in Him!!!
Please join us with these prayer requests!!! I will take another step of faith and keep believing that God is always good. That He does have a plan for each of these fighting cancer!!!
Here's a favorite song by 5th Ave North!!! I love these words!!! Take a listen!!!
Keep believing in miracles!!! They still happen!!!
